Silly human anatomy

[skyfaller]

Several days ago, I unhinged my jaw in order to eat a piece of food that was too large to fit in my mouth in the normal fashion. When I rehinged my jaw, it hurt! The left side of my jaw has been hurting since then.

Now, I know you're going to say, "Nelson, you idiot, why did you unhinge your jaw? You're not a snake. That's what knives are for... if you can't fit a piece of food in your mouth, use your opposable thumbs and your tools and chop it up into bite-size pieces." However, you're missing something... I unhinged my jaw many times when I was a child to eat large pieces of food, and it never hurt before! I guess I'm just getting old and inflexible.

Comments

[god-of-belac.livejournal.com]

How come I never knew this when I was at Swat and could witness you doing this?

(This is the best post ever, because it's so deadpan seriously written, yet so funny).

[mumbly-joe.livejournal.com]

you know, they taught us during CPR that it's a *bad idea* to try to eat food that's bigger than your mouth.

[skyfaller]

Well, I wasn't trying to swallow the food *whole*, I believe it was actually a large square chunk of watermelon which I wanted to take a bite out of, but there was no convenient way to do this without hyperextending my jaw. The bite worked, but the jaw now isn't working quite as well.

[moooshy.livejournal.com]

What I learned at work today, which seems somewhat relevant:

If you have scurvy, try using knives to trim your swollen gum and rub the wounds with urine, as Vasco da Gama did in 1487.

[bondage-and-tea.livejournal.com]

I found this page when trying to search for "livejournal mac itunes tags" to try to find a client that does the obvious.

Wondering: any chance of a photo of you with your unhinged jaw?

[skyfaller]

No, and I don't plan on doing it again anytime soon considering that it hurt me last time I did it.

Also, I'm not sure if I literally unhinged my jaw... but I definitely did something funny with my jaw to make it open wider than it is supposed to.

[cower2spb.livejournal.com]

I guess I'm just getting old and inflexible.

Yes.. I think that's the problem %))

[(Anonymous)]

just how big can your mouth become, in inches? Whats the Largest thing you ever swallowed?